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My Very Own Christmas Miracle, or: How I met my new doctor.

“I can’t promise you that everything I try will work. I can promise you that if I try something and it doesn’t work, I will keep trying new things, and I won’t just give up and tell you to find another doctor.

I will also promise that if something doesn’t work, like those epidural spine injections, I won’t keep doing the same thing over and over, hoping that it will eventually work.”

Well, Hell’s Bells! THAT, I can live with!

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From Can’t to Can, or: How My Business Saved My Life

If you’ve read even a couple of my blogs you’ll know that I talk about the shame-guilt-depression cycle that one goes through when dealing with chronic pain, and/or chronic illness.

We can’t contribute like we should at work.
We lose our jobs.
We can’t help out around the house.
We lose our disability.
We can’t help pay for groceries or the roof over our head.
We can’t we can’t we can’t.

“Can’t” weighs on us and if we aren’t careful it can sink us like an anchor sitting on our chest.

But with this business, I CAN.

I think this is my first vlog…a vlog blog!

The short story is that my doctor is an assclown and refused to call the clinican from UNUM back about my disability claim because he thought I was trying to get put on PERMENANT Disability, and scam the government. 

Also, I have another MRI today at 11AM and I see the neurologist on 12/21. There’s a possibliity that there may be something happening with my SI joint/pelvis/hip. 

Maybe at some point these doctors will stop treating me like I’m crazy. That would be neat!

Musings of a Thankful Heart

As I look out upon the horizon of another twelve months, I wish for myself that I remember to say, “Fuck the haters.” May I only take time for the Yay-Sayers and remember that I can’t take worry to the bank, so I need not worry about what others think of me / my business / my story.

In this next twelve months, I hope that I can do for others what Toby has done for me: Breathe life back into dreams.

May I remember that it doesn’t matter what doctor’s and specialists say — they don’t write my story. I write my story, and I know my truth, which is that my pain is very real, very debilitating, and unacceptable.

You may lose the battle but don’t stop fighting the war.

Never let anyone else write your story. Don’t let them decide who you are and what your truth is.

Most people in my position don’t have the financial resources to access a lawyer, or the wherewithal to know that it might be worth fighting a decision like this. 

*I* don’t have the financial resources to hire an attorney. Especially not after more than 5 months out of work.

Ya know what?

That’s what these insurance scumbags count on.

What is This Strange Feeling?, or: When You’re So Used to Pain that You Think Not Feeling Pain is Strange

DISCLAIMERS:
I am not a medical or legal professional. The information provided in this blog is anecdotal and is not medical advice. I am telling you MY story. My story and experiences may be different from yours.

I do not represent any of the companies that produce the products pictured and discussed in this blog. Again, anecdotal and personal experience.

Now, let’s dive in, shall we?!