A Note On Fear of Acceptance and Home-Based Online Businesses
Much of this content was originally posted on my Facebook page, the week before I finally got over myself, and my fears, and started this damn blog. I decided that it needed to be here and that I needed to update it a bit. So here goes nothin’.
When I first launched my business I was guilty of defeatist thinking.
“Will people think I’m a sell-out?”
“Will they think I’m annoying?”
“What if no one wants to buy the products?”
That type of thinking made me take like two or three weeks to really start posting about my business after I made the initial investment.
Guess what happened? Two people that I consider friends/family expressed a negative view of what I was doing. Two.
One person was really cool and polite about it and just said, ‘it’s not my thing and I don’t really want it in my newsfeed, are there other ways we can stay in touch if I “unfollow” you?,’ one was a dick and tried to tell me how I should run my business. (I still have love for him, but he was overstepping.)
Everyone else has either been super supportive or not shared an opinion with me at all. Oh, and as it turns out, a Hell of a lot of folks want/need the products available on my virtual store. So why was I so worried?!
Because anxiety and fear. They’re a bitch, y’all. Humans are (generally) social creatures who want to be loved and accepted and to be perceived as successful/smart/savvy/whatever-the-Hell, you can fill in your own blanks.
For me personally, the story goes like this:
Internally, I am a blue collar working-class kid born in Flint, Michigan.
The daughter of a Union welder (who passed when I was four) and one of the first female supervisors in a General Motors plant.
My stepfather growing up worked at an ACDelco plant, also union.
My maternal grandfather was a union engineer who retired from GM.
My mom’s brother… you guessed it, GM man. You get the point – we were blue collar AF, as the kids say.
My family moved out of Flint when I was in the 6th grade because, quite frankly, my parents were concerned about us kids growing up surrounded by violence and gangs.
The point in telling you all of this is to drive home the point that I came from humble beginnings, blue collar union labor, and nothing close to any kind of home-based virtual business success story.
That part of me, the blue collar grit part, has never left. In high school my allegiance was with the punk-rock/skater/hoodlum and rude boy kids which makes total sense when you consider where I came from.
Imagine the reaction I got from these friends when I started college. Hint: I caught a lot of shit. I caught more when I went to grad school. Note the pattern of me catching a lot of shit and still ultimately doing what I feel is best for me.
The crazy thing, though, is that a lot of the shit that I caught, I caught from myself.
“Who the Hell do you think you are, Kelly?
“Who are you trying to fool?” Ever heard of Imposter Syndrome?
That’s been me since like 2007.
Most recently this feeling of being an imposter is connected to my virtual business. I imagined all kinds of things that people would think of or say to me. That feeling of being an imposter or some kind of imagined sell-out is what kept me from posting about my business for weeks after I invested the money and enrolled.
Talk about wasted time!
Everyone is guilty of second-guessing themselves at one point or another based on the reactions or assumed/perceived reactions of the people they know. This seems especially common for anyone who wants to start, has started, or is in the thick of running a home-based virtual business.
But for what?
Are they going to do the work for you?
Don’t let anyone else dictate to you how you’re going to make YOUR dreams happen!
If you have 500 people on your friends/followers list on whatever social media platform and 10 of them unfriend or unfollow you because you start posting about a business venture you’re pursuing, who cares? Bye. Kick Rocks.
I don’t care what it is or how it is… if it’s your dream and you’re trying to build a better life and future for yourself, that is all you need to focus on.
Don’t give other people power over your dreams. Period.
Don’t let them rent space in your head. Your dreams might not look like my dreams but I’ll cheer you on however you decide to pursue them because I love me a good dreamer.
Sometimes our dreams change and sometimes that’s because they have to. If your dreams include having more time and financial freedom to pursue your passions and not just a job, or to spend more quality time with your family and friends… if your dreams have changed because, like me, you are battling some type of chronic/invisible condition or illness, we should talk. I’d love to work with you.
Thank you for indulging me.