I want to be an unstoppabl einfluence. I want to help others while learning and growing myself — ideally, I’d like to make enough money to pay my bills while doing it.
That’s not something that’s impossible, it’s just not something I believe I could have achieved had I continued to feel trapped and oppressed in a traditional work setting.
I want to help other people dream. I want to be an empowered woman who empowers other women. That’s part of why I signed up for the Unstoppable Influence 21-Day Challenge with Natasha Hazlett. You’re definitely going to watnt to check out the link included here because you can still register, and the challenge officially starts tomorrow, February 4.
I said many, many f-words, in a variety of ways and sentences. I apologized, of course, for the fact that my mouth turns into that of a seasoned ex-con working at a tattoo shop (yep, believe it or not, I’m familiar) and they forgave me. The doctor and nurse insisted that it was nothing they don’t hear every day.
The doctor kept telling me that I was doing great. At one point I replied, “I don’t feel like I’m doing great. I feel like a giant wuss.”
This was, to my recollection, my very first time eating crow. I felt awful. I felt kind of like Tanya was going to kick my ass, but she didn’t.
Maybe she saw the look in my eyes and at 7 or 8 years old could already recognize honest remorse and pure humiliation and shame.
In any case, we stayed friends, and it never came up again. Tanya showed me some real Grace.
So, when Harold asked what types of hardships I faced and what I learned, as a white kid growing up in Flint, MI… this is what came to mind.
Remembering this made me feel more determined to show the kind of Grace shown to me by Tanya, to others.
People say dumbass shit all the time, and believe it or not, sometimes they really don’t know what they’re saying!
We can’t control the dumb shit people say — but we choose how we react to it.
Tomorrow, Friday, I head in for lumbar facet injections bright and early in the morning. The purpose is twofold:
It will, hopefully, help with the pain in my low back and maybe some of my leg pain.
It will also, depending on how much it helps my pain, help the doctor to diagnose some of what is happening in my low back. WINNING.
“I can’t promise you that everything I try will work. I can promise you that if I try something and it doesn’t work, I will keep trying new things, and I won’t just give up and tell you to find another doctor.
I will also promise that if something doesn’t work, like those epidural spine injections, I won’t keep doing the same thing over and over, hoping that it will eventually work.”
Well, Hell’s Bells! THAT, I can live with!
If you’ve read even a couple of my blogs you’ll know that I talk about the shame-guilt-depression cycle that one goes through when dealing with chronic pain, and/or chronic illness.
We can’t contribute like we should at work.
We lose our jobs.
We can’t help out around the house.
We lose our disability.
We can’t help pay for groceries or the roof over our head.
We can’t we can’t we can’t.
“Can’t” weighs on us and if we aren’t careful it can sink us like an anchor sitting on our chest.
But with this business, I CAN.